Europa Universalis IV

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    • Round two faggots

      Again,on the attacking side "The Pussy Slayers" make a comeback. This time with some extra TURK mixed in.
      On defense we have the Netherlands,Russia and cowardly Prussia.

      Stage 1 aka "The Dutch phase"

      French and Spanish armies stormed the Netherlands and fully occupied the country. Introducing a new tactic into modern warfare,referred to as "Blitzkrieg". We were so fast that by the time The Dutch had any idea what was happening,Antwerp had already fallen.
      The Dutch retreated into Germany and tried to engage in skirmishes with The Spanish by using the Prussian military might as a cover.
      But the real battle didn't start until the Russian army arrived in the Lowlands. 100 thousand angry Russian imperial troops marched straight into Breda and attempted to occupy the fort garrisoned by the brave French soldiers. Seeing this,chief of staff Luis IX. of France threw the 1st and 2nd French armies into battle,simultaneously recalling the reserves all the way from Calais. The courageous Spanish Lowlands divisions charged into help of their French allies and managed to hold out long enough for the French reserves to arrive. Once they arrived,the tide of battle turned towards the French and the cowardly Dutch started routing from the field of battle,exposing their flanks. The French 1st army took note of this and gave pursuit,driving the routing enemy into Cologne. Once Breda was secured once more,the French and Spanish occupied the rest of Netherlands,ending the Dutch phase.

      First Armistice and the Treaty of Konigsberg

      After the events that unfolded at The Dutch theater,the Prussian Royal army was badly beaten and the state of Prussia was dabbling into debt. Seeing that his country won't be able to take much more,the Kaiser decided to sign a peace treaty with Spain. Settling for monetary reprisals from the latter. Prussia was out of the war.

      Stage 2 aka "The Bulgarian phase"

      While the armies of the French and Spanish were consolidating and recovering their strength,the Ottoman Empire was getting crushed by the sheer size of the Russian Imperial army. 150 thousand Russians descended into Bulgaria and Greece. Without assistance from their allies,the Ottomans collapsed after Istanbul fell into Russian hands. Throughout the war in the Bulgarian theater the Russians demanded that Bulgaria be ceded to them. Eventually the Ottomans capitulated,but refused to give up land. Due to the situation unfolding in the Netherlands, the Russian Empire had to accept.

      Stage 3 aka "The Italian phase"

      With both sides losing an ally in the phases prior to this one,something major needed to happen in Italy.
      Poorly defended,Italy quickly fell to the Russian masses. Once the French arrived,the Spanish were cornered in the South of Italy. With 150 thousand men between them and their allies,the French general Francois Bouchard decided to wait in the North. Eventually the Russians forced engagements by cornering specific parts of the French army. Due to miscommunication between the French and the Spanish,they suffered heavy losses in central Italy. It was a tie. The Russians stuck in central Italy,between the French in Northern Italy and the Spanish,in the south.

      The Dutch surrender and the Treaty of New Amsterdam

      Due to the events of the aformentioned phases,the Russian army was out of manpower. They had already conscripted all the retired soldiers and everyone older than the age of 15 was already in the army.
      The French however,due to their massive population and advanced infrastructure managed to reinforce their armies quickly and efficiently. Half their manpower was untouched and ready to be thrown into combat. Seeing that they cannot possibly reclaim Netherlands or invade into France,the Dutch agreed to cede their colonies in the Chesapeake bay. The Spanish accepted this peace offer and the war formally ended on 12th of May the year of our Lord 1565. In total,half a million men died in the conflict,scarring the economy of both sides for the next generation.
    • In all 943,000 men have died in the Spanish-dutch wars.

      In all 28 development was transferred to the spanish colony of new kekistan.

      Assuming the average cost of 1000 men is 13 ducets that's 12,259 ducets lost

      meaning that for each development gained in the new world 437.8 ducets was spent to take it and defend it.

      As 1 development is worth about 60 of any monarch point then each monarch point taken was 7 ducets.

      Seeing as it's a colonial nation and only half is gained from it

      there was a transfer effective of 14 development

      each development gained in the new world 876 ducets was spent to take it and defend it.

      As 1 development is worth about 60 of any monarch point then each monarch point taken was 14 ducets.

      At least we won this time

    • In yellow is the franco-Ibearian alliance

      In red is the rusco-prussia alliance with their protectorate netherlands

      In blue is the ottoman blob

      In purple Is the neutral land still up for grabs

      In Black is the still absent danish empire

      Now I'm not saying nuffin, but the netherlands has taken your capital

      and guess what, the netherlands stole the spanish lowlands as well

      So if you want to give us a hand in taking back the spanish lowlands that'd be nice.
    • While we're at it,let me tell you the sad story of England:

      >be France
      >England doesn't surrender Maine
      >get mad
      >crush them and take their French lands
      >they get to keep 2 provinces on the mainland
      >get even more mad
      >wait until their allies won't join
      >vassalise Ireland in the mean time
      >cca 1460
      >declare war and shit on England,take Ireland and Cornwall
      >wait for truce time while Denmark shits on England too
      >attack England again,taking London and Wessex
      >wait for truce timer while Denmark shits on England yet again
      >attack England again,take the remainder of their British provinces
      >force vassalise England
      >mfw they're a one province minor in south america
      >mfw they have a colony which is 7 times stronger than them
      >mfw fucking natives fully annex them and seize their colony

      bye bye england,should've given me Maine in 1447
    • Extremely peaceful session today.
      Some diplomatic and psychological warfare but that's about it. Two provinces from Spanish lowlands ceded to Netherlands.
      All the major powers focused on consolidating their economy and military.
      France doubled it's active military size and further fortified it's borders.
      Cape trading company and Ivory coast trading company further improved their influence in the area and the Indonesian trading company is currently being established in the Spice Islands.
      Meanwhile Spain's military has faced a complete and total makeover. Incorporating cannons,modern fortresses and tripling in size! All made possible from the Wealthy colonies of New Kekistan,New Holland and New Spain.
      The entirety of Africa has been firmly gripped by France while Spain holds monopoly over the New World.

      Meanwhile Prussia is consolidating in Norther Germany and is coming closer to forming the German nation. Russia doubled it's already massive army and is threatening the Ming dynasty in China,which is slowly but surely collapsing.

      Neon's got some pics to show I believe.
    • It's getting more and more intense

      With Russia extorting spain for two provinces in the lowlands and also extorting ming for 5000 ducets the battle lines are clearly drawn.

      The amount of land remaining in europe not taken by one of the three powers is rapidly shrinking

      To the west, the triple entete of spain, france and portugal, they have the richest of lands and almost all of the global trade power. Their men are decent in quality and decent in number and having allmost all of the land in the new world under their control they have the greatest navy in the world as well.

      To the east is the central powers, russia, prussia and hungary with the root cause of all global problems, the spanish lowlands The netherlands The spanish lowlands. They have vast manpower and some of the best infantry in prussia. They are far poorer than the triple entante with very poor provinces

      In asia are the asian powers, a loose collection of hinduistan and ming, with ming being very weak and on the verge of collapse it is unknown if the asian powers will take the side of the triple entante, stay out of it or just collapse.

      The weak man of europe, the ottomans have started losing to hungary. They look as if they will unable to withstand the upcoming battles. They are, however, guarenteeing the vassals of the triple entante putting about 30k troops out of action